| Tara Langdale

Dealing with Vaginismus Psychologically

If you are dealing with vaginismus, statistics say you are certainly not alone. However, understanding the psychology behind it could be a vital key to your healing...


Dealing with vaginismus psychologically can be a powerful route to healing. Sexual disorders are often a major stress for the person suffering from them, but they can also cause a lot of tension within a partnership. Psychological attention may prevent the common downward spiral in dynamic that couples often deal with, which leads to further stress and exacerbation of the disorder itself.

If left unchecked, such a self-perpetuating cycle can lead to negative psychological tendencies. These may take quite some effort to overcome, but it can be done. It may also be necessary to address the physical factors, of course. However, the psychological factors behind vaginismus could well be laying dormant in the subconscious.

Why is dealing with vaginismus necessary?

When a woman with vaginismus is about to have sexual intercourse, before the moment of penetration she is likely to experience involuntary spasms in the muscles around the outer third of her vagina. Understandably this can make for painful sex, if not rendering intimacy impossible. She may even feel that she has no control over her own body.

If this sounds like your problem, dealing with vaginismus is a crucial commitment. It may help to know that you certainly aren’t alone. Incidences of vaginismus are estimated at around between 1 and 17% per year, worldwide. In North America alone between 12 and 21% of women report genito-pelvic pain of various causes. Around 15% of women in North America report that pain during intercourse is a regular occurrence.

It is quite common, but it is undeniably very unpleasant and may not go away on its own. It may even be dangerous because gynecological health risks become impossible too. The good news is that understanding the causes of vaginismus may really help.

Common psychological reasons for vaginismus

If you can, it is useful to try to understand where your symptoms of vaginismus originated. You might manage to overcome the symptoms without doing so, but if you can pinpoint how it started and which thoughts and feelings trigger it, this is a good start.

Here are some common psychological reasons that trigger vaginismus symptoms: 

  • History of sexual abuse
  • Negative perception of sex, e.g. due to religious or familial values
  • Unhealthy relationship dynamic with current or past partner
  • Insecurities relating to self-image or self-worth

While it is possible to unravel feelings relating to such issues on your own, it can be hard to determine how ingrained they are. If you feel that one or more of these issues could be the cause of your vaginismus, it would be wise to find a counsellor or psychotherapist, for instance.

There are likely to be various types of psychological therapists equipped to help you work through it. For example, you might make an appointment with a behavioral sex therapist or arrange some kind of relational intervention.

Other ways of dealing with vaginismus

There are a number of physical methods that can relieve the symptoms of vaginismus, such as:

  • Pelvic floor physical therapy
  • Use of vaginal dilators
  • Anti-anxiety medication (in severe and persistent cases only)  

We have extensively covered using vaginal dilators on this site, as they are one of the most reliable physical methods of dealing with vaginismus. Feel free to take a look around the site and ask any questions you think we may be able to help with.

The bottom line is that you don’t need to suffer in silence. There are many resources available to you, and many trained and compassionate people that are more than willing to help.

Dilator therapy helps improve pelvic health and female sexuality. They are used to help a wide variety of female health concerns. Speak to your doctor today about how dilator therapy can help you.

Do you need to order vaginal dilators so you can start your pelvic floor therapy process? Made in the USA. Visit www.vuvatech.com 


VuVa Dilator Company Helpful Links:

How do Neodymium Vaginal Dilators work? 

7 Reasons for a Tight Vagina and How to Loosen 

How to use Vaginal Dilators 

How to Relax Vaginal Muscles, Vaginismus & Sex 

Vaginal Stretching - Keeping in Shape with Dilators 

Do Dilators Really Work? Yes, and They can Improve Your Sex Life!

Shop for VuVa Vaginal Dilators


Tara Langdale Schmidt is the inventor of the VuVa Dilator Company. She has pelvic floor dysfunction herself and wanted to create a dilator set that is made in America that women can trust. VuVatech has been in business since 2014 and has helped over 50,000 women all over the globe. She patented the Neodymium Vaginal Dilator, that is clinically proven to help with blood flow and nerve pain.

Podcast Episode 22: Tara Langdale-Schmidt

What’s on Your Vagenda? Click here

VuVa Dilators on Netflix!

Well what a surprise!!! A few years back we received an email from the props department on the Sex Education show on Netflix. They asked if we could send them a vaginal dilator set for their show. We couldn't say yes fast enough! 

Checkout Sex Education on Netflix: Season 2 Episode 8